Inside and Out
by Redtailedfox
Summary: Lissa has been haunted by nightmares since Rose returned from Russia. Conflicted and fearful of her life, how will she react when Dimitri comes to make those dreams a reality? AU, set between Blood Promise and Spirit Bound.


A.N. As a disclaimer, obviously, the Vampire Academy does not belong to me.

Anyway.

This is AUish, taking place between Blood Promise and Spirit Bound.

_Lissa dreamt a dark nightmare, the same one she had ever since Rose had returned from Russia, unsuccessful in her attempt to kill her former lover- Dimitri. The stake that had been delivered to the doorsteps of St. Vladimir's had prompted in Lissa's friend an equal surge of violent despair and violent hope. In Lissa it had generated a cold chill of terror she tried desperately to keep from her bondmate's notice. During the Moroi daytime, under the coolly comforting moonlight, Lissa could almost convince herself she was fine. She preoccupied herself with finals and Rose tried to ignore any tremors of fear from her side of the bond. But her sleeping mind was incapable of self-deception, and it tormented her with these dreams, over and over again. _

_She was outside the safety of the school's wards, clothed in a sheer nightgown and stranded in the surrounding woods. She shivered despite herself, and resigned herself to the dream, glancing up to check the sky. It wasn't quite daybreak, it was predawn, the dark hour that preceded the sunrise._

_And then, as he did every night, Dimitri appeared. He was not the Dimitri she remembered, though there was a haunting similarity. He was as Rose had described, unnaturally pale skin, a ring of red in his once warm eyes. He smirked at her as he approached on silent feet, an expression at once out of place and terribly at home on his face, and stretched out a white hand. His fingers brushed against her cheek, and then drew back as she flinched away._

"_Vasilisa," he murmured almost gently, coming even closer. He smiled down at her, his eyes flashing scarlet. And then, as always he took her chin in his hand and pressed his other hand to the back of her neck and she stiffened her spine, ready for the killing blow he always delivered, a swift and brutal snap of the neck, aided by Strigoi strength._

_But then the dream unexpectedly shifted. Instead of wrenching her neck sideways Dimitri moved his hands to her shoulders, holding Lissa steady as he opened his mouth and with the quickness of the undead, sank his new fangs into the bare flesh of her neck. _

_She gasped in surprise and dream-dulled agony as his teeth dug messily and cruelly into her. And then her world, even asleep, was awash in ecstasy as powerful Strigoi endorphins shot through her system. She sighed in bliss, clinging to him unapologetically and shamefully. _

"_Dimitri!" she managed as his teeth dug in further into her skin, flooding her body with more endorphins. It was almost a plea, she would have begged him not to let go if she could have found the words through the blinding haze of elation he had brought her._

_He raised his head away from her, and he was painted in her blood. A surge of revulsion brought Lissa back to her senses, and she tried to run from him. He gave a sinister laugh, and then with a casual ease snapped out a hand, grabbing her by the back of her neck and then, finally following the script, broke her neck._

Lissa bolted awake, and rubbed her neck, the sound of his cold laughter ringing in her ears. She bit down on her tongue, and ran to her bathroom, turning on the tap and watching as cold water began to fill the sink. She splashed it across her face, trying to purge her mind of the nightmare.

"Lissa?" a familiar voice asked from behind, and she spun around, eyes wild. She focused on Rose's concerned, rather bemused face and forced herself to relax.

"Yes?" she asked. Rose reached over her shoulder and switched off the tap. Lissa turned, noticing the acute danger the sink had been in of overflowing. Her cheeks burned and Rose gave her a faint smile.

"Are you alright?" Rose asked gently, and from her probing expression, Lissa assumed she was searching in her mind for the answer. She recoiled, unexpected anger forming at the intrusion.

"Fine," Lissa said sharply, and then, at Rose's hurt expression amended in a softer voice, "I've been having- sorry," she corrected with a small lie, telling herself there was no use getting Rose worked up, "Had. I had a nightmare, is all."

"Really?" Rose asked skeptically, and Lissa frowned. Rose shrugged. "It was your, ah," she paused delicately, "_Enjoyment_ that woke me up." Rose flashed a sheepish grin, "I thought for a moment you and Christian had gotten back together."

"Christian and I are done," Lissa said tersely. "And it was a nightmare."

"If you say you," Rose said, clearly doubting her, and then shrugged again, yawning. "See you. Still have a few more minutes to sleep."

Lissa watched her leave, and then slumped down along the bathroom wall, a familiar darkness threatening from the corner of her mind.

School was easy. Homework was easy. The preparation for the unconscious hours were less so. She delayed changing into bedclothes, and instead pulled on a pair of sturdy shoes, heading outside, hoping the cool air would put her at ease. No such luck. However, Lissa continued to journey through the woods, skirting dangerously close the outside edges of the school's property line, and the protective wards established around its perimeter.

A faint sigh caught her attention, and she whirled around, scanning the trees and mossy ground. She told herself it was probably nothing, and drew in a steadying breath of air, and then turned, ready to retrace her steps. It was still dark, and walking back to the school would probably be wise. A shocking man with a dreadfully familiar and unfamiliar face blocked her path and she stumbled back, thinking that perhaps she was dreaming.

Twigs crunched underfoot, and she nearly fell over, but Dimitri stood quietly and unmoving, an unreadable expression clouding his face. She braced herself against a tree, ready to run, ready to scream. She eyed him like one might an escaped, rabid animal, alert for any changes in movement, prepared for and expecting an attack.

After a pause he moved forward, as softly as she had remembered from her dreams. "Vasilisa," he greeted, breaking into a cold smile. He took another step forward, so that he was close enough to touch, close enough to kill her, if he desired it. Lissa was frozen, debating whether to try and compel him, little good it would do, or run, try and evade him.

"Rose," she whispered, sending waves of distress through the bond, calling out to Rose for help.

Dimitri seemed unconcerned. "Rose will not find you," he told her calmly, "Not here, in this enchanting spot you picked for a walk." He gestured to the surrounding woods with a languid motion.

"What do you want?" Lissa asked him, and then frowned, "How are you even here?" She thought perhaps to stall him, buying her more time for Rose to find her. He must have realized as much as well, but he answered her nonetheless.

"It's funny how much damage a few stakes and humans can do to magical wards," he quipped, "But seriously, you should have known better." He smirked, "It's almost like you wanted me to find you." He raised his hand, brushing against her hair.

She forced herself not to flinch away from the touch. "What do you want?" she repeated, proud of the steel in her voice.

Dimitri eyed her appreciatively, as if he to admired her sudden nerve. His response startled her, "You, Lissa."

"What?"

Dimitri's eyes, red and wicked, sparkled, and he leaned in closer, "Just imagine it," he told her, "You are a powerful spirit user now, and one of the upper nobility of the Moroi. As a Strigoi you would have incredible power! I'm offering you a chance to discard your pathetic, lonely life in favor of a much better one."

"I can't agree to that," Lissa choked out, ignoring the fascination his words stirred in her.

Dimitri smiled. "Can't you? Is this life so much better? You lived gripped by darkness and madness that might, at any time, come and return to conquer you, as it has before. This is an opportunity to rid yourself of that dark coil of insanity." He paused, tilting his head. "Can you feel it now?" he asked her softly, "Because I can. I can smell it on you. Mingling with your scent." He breathed in deeply, his mouth widening into something nearer to a grimace then a grin. "Do you want it?" he asked again.

Despite herself Lissa _could_ feel it; a tendril of inky madness that she knew from experience could blossom into something much larger. She stared into the earnest, blood-ringed eyes of Dimitri and allowed herself the luxury of imagining life without it, as he had offered her. A life without pain, without the violation of a bond, without the threat of pure insanity, without the stress of watching what words she said and her every movement and expression, without the political games that seemed to be impossible to get away from. A world without the Moroi, without the weight of the Dragomir line, without spirits influence ready to crash down on top of her…. And then, with a hot, dizzying rush of catharsis, she knew what she wanted with absolute certainty.

"Yes," she said, raising her arms and grabbing hold of Dimitri, twisting her fingers into his hair and lowering his face to her naked neck.

He reached out, wrapping his arms around her in an eerie embrace, and then without preamble raised his eyes to meet hers, a brief moment of connection, and then turned back to her throat, and bit down. A moment of pain, vivid and sharp, and then the intense euphoria that followed right on its heels. Joy and delight surged through her, pressing around her from all sides, so much better than it had been in her dream. She gripped Dimitri tighter, groaning, and felt his need as he bit deeper into her skin. The endorphins reached their peak, and then he ripped his fangs from her neck, biting into his wrist and bringing it up to her mouth. Nearly unconscious, Lissa felt the liquid touch her tongue, his arm on her lips, and she swallowed instinctively as the blood filled her mouth. Her eyes closed and he laid her gently on the ground. He pressed a bloody kiss to her lips and then dragged her through the woods, out of St. Vladimir's and to his nearby base of operations.

And when she awoke, eyes red and skin chalk-white, he gave her another kiss, one she eagerly accepted, greedily licking away the blood on his lips.


End file.
